but girlfriend don"t have feelings for that person?You watch I"m simply so damn sensitive about what civilization think the me, the it renders it difficult for me to ask a girl out. Whether she"s a girlfriend or someone I just met the day, I"m fear to say, "Wanna have actually coffee sometime" or somesuch. I know it need to be no biggie, however in mine minds eye I just imagine the other human being MORTIFIED. I placed myself in her place, and I think,"Oh GOD, what a creep come ask ME out. Mental to stop this guy due to the fact that he"s attractive to you. How awkward and sad because that him."I"m certain this perspective originates from my own believe in my low me worth to an additional person. I must know, from your perspective, once someone, it is in it a friend, or total stranger, asks friend out, and if you room not interested, what space your feelings. Perform you avoid that person, or move on? go it fully f**k increase the connnection? I"ve shed too numerous friends due to the fact that I assumed there might be something more and i took a risk, and they just started staying clear of me, which provides me think I should really rebellion them and horrify them when I express the I could be interested in them.

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OneStepBeyondVeteran

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Joined: 19 Jun 2010Age: 33Gender: MalePosts: 11,310


10 Jun 2011, 12:52 pm

hmm. Personally i"d get very embarrassed and awkward. Yet i"m not really "normal" so mine answer"s a little worthless. I"d imagine you lose friends end it since they then end up being worried about giving out the not correct impression and also so shot to keep you at eight length, to make certain no mixed messages are given. Not necessarily due to the fact that you are a creep or revolting, but since they don"t want to give you the not correct idea and hurt friend feelings


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Brianruns10Veteran

Joined: 24 Aug 2006Age: 37Gender: MalePosts: 1,089


10 Jun 2011, 12:57 pm

Which is was concerns me! I have actually so couple of friends anyways, I often tend to desire myself to it is in in the friend zone, since I figure much better to play that safe and keep a friend, then function the dice for the slim possibility she can like me back, versus the huge chance I"ll lose her forever.But then I also get no hope to discover SOMEONE due to the fact that I keep shedding friends come the horrible war the attrition that is marriage and also child rearing. Mine friends who marry and have children just save me more away since I"m not important anymore. Some of my finest friends have actually quit speaking to me because they had kids, and it"s all so awful. And also so the just solution sometimes seems i must discover a girlfriend of mine own, so i won"t it is in alone forever.


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pinkbowtiepumpsVeteran

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Joined: 16 Mar 2008Age: 32Gender: FemalePosts: 520Location: US


10 Jun 2011, 1:02 pm

Honestly, I"d most likely be embarassed and awkward around it too. But you can"t take that personally - if you were respectful and appropriate and also if she claims no, that probably has nothing to execute with you.Everyone who has ever been in a successful relationship has actually been rejected a couple of times. It"s a component of life. If friend ask a girl out and she says no, at least you"ll it is in glad girlfriend tried, right?Plus, a an excellent thing to do is come ask her for coffee so the both of you can weigh even if it is there would certainly be the potential for feelings to build or not. Mentioning a common interest as a bridge helps too. Also, if you watch her around a couple of times, and spark increase a conversation an initial then that won"t it seems ~ so out of the blue.

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Brianruns10Veteran

Joined: 24 Aug 2006Age: 37Gender: MalePosts: 1,089


10 Jun 2011, 1:12 pm

Trick is regularly it"s who I only see once, or very seldom I concern if ns don"t act, someone else will certainly supplant me for her affections. It"s taken place before and also it to be miserable.And yet, ns wish I had actually the courage. Ideal now, ns think I discover it preferable to wonder "what if," fairly than recognize for certain I never had a chance.It keeps the illusion alive the I"m desireable. Every time ns ask someone and get rubbish though, it"s one much more chance lost forever. "Sorry, I"m not attracted...I deserve to do better."


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ErisadVeteran

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Joined: 5 Jul 2010Age: 32Gender: FemalePosts: 13,058Location: joined States


10 Jun 2011, 1:25 pm

Awkward together hell. Ns don"t prefer being a b***h and turning someone down yet if there"s no chemistry or if I"m not prepared for a relationship, I need to do it. >.
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LostAlienVeteran

Joined: 3 Feb 2009Age: 38Gender: FemalePosts: 1,577


10 Jun 2011, 1:27 pm

I"ve been in this instance (kind of), a male I was only interested in being friends with preserved on hinting he wanted to it is in more. I won"t get in the minutae but since he didn"t want to accept that I simply wanted to be friends, I started to street myself indigenous him. Ns didn"t want to pains his feelings or reason him embarrisment, I likewise didn"t know exactly how to address the situation.Brianruns10, ns think it would be a good idea to study books about bodylanguage that indicates sexual interest. Few of it is quite clear when you"ve learned it a lot and also thus once you"re an ext sure of her welcome, you"ll feel much safer to ask. Also, the lady connected is much more lightly to it is in comfortable with you asking her out.Some points to store in mind: (1) If she"s just come the end of a lengthy term relationship, action carefully. (1A) If she shows interest she might be rebounding which deserve to be ache for many reasons (1B) She can show interest and also still to speak no because she could not feel prepared for a brand-new guy. (2) ladies are qualified of gift nice however can also be mean, if a woman treats girlfriend badly shot to remember that she is just one person and also mean civilization aren"t worth your time anyways. (3) periodically attraction is as result of timing, a tiny amount of ladies can end up being attracted come a man after they get to know them for miscellaneous reasons.I hope this to be at the very least a little helpful